Wheatley's Wanderings

The Misadventures of an Arcane Nightmare Creature on Vacation

Today, Wheatley visited this sombrero-stylin’ restaurant in Tucumcari, New Mexico. He recommends La Cita’s burritos! Spicy!
Wheatley didn’t love being stuck in Missouri traffic, but he loved that it allowed him to gaze out the car window at the amazing arch in St. Louis!
Wheatley made an off-season visit to Monessen, Pennsylvania’s historic Haunted House, CASTLE BLOOD. He really liked the mad science room, and recommends you make a Halloween visit.
This weekend, Wheatley visited the gorgeous Gervasi winery and vineyard in Canton, OH. He was impressed with the endless rows of vines. Their food was also pretty delicious. 
Wheatley recommends a red, a white, and the lobster fromaggio.
While visiting the WQED studio, Wheatley was delighted to discover they have a T-Rex statue dressed as Mr. Rogers out front. He was disappointed, however, to learn the carnivore was only make believe.
Being an avid fan of human television programming, Wheatley stopped by the WQED studio in Pittsburgh, PA, which was the one time home of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. Wheatley is a firm supporter of the reign of King Friday.
Wheatley was thrilled to stop by this zombie-themed store in Pittsburgh’s Lawrenceville neighborhood. He liked the creepy decor and thought all the zombie merch was simply to die for, which reminded him of home. He met the owners while he was there, and they were very enthusiastic about his travels, possibly because zombies move so much slower. 
Wheatley gives House of the Dead several tentacles up.

G. Maddin from Winnipeg asks:

Is Wheatley related to Cthulhu?

Human Servant says: Wheatley considers this question to be racist. Just because they are both tentacled nightmare creatures from beyond time doesn’t mean they’re related. Next you’re going to say all vaguely octopus-ish creatures look alike. Sensitivity, please!

Being an unspeakable nightmare creature, Wheatley knows a thing or two about awful things. Because of this, he knows that love, no matter what kind, is never one of them. That’s why Wheatley wanted to take a brief break from his vacation to proclaim that he’s all for marriage equality. After all, he’s a monster, what does he care what humans want to marry?

tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?

Human Servant says: Wheatley is not human, and thus cannot answer your question.